What if you have gone ahead to marry without parental consent and your relationship with your parents are fractured? How do you mend that relationship?
First of all, both sides have to acknowledge that the relationship will forever be altered. It will not be the same as before. Both sides have to accept the reality of the situation, and move on with their lives.
Second, if you are have offended your parents, the best course of action is to visit your parents face to face, confess your "sins", and ask for forgiveness. If you are too "scare" to do it alone, bring along someone who knows both sides to be the mediator. The mediator is a neutral person who will help you mend the relationship, and bring "closure" to this chapter of your life.
Asian culture demands that children make the first move to come to see their parents. This is different from Western culture where parents make the move, and confess their sins toward their own children. Not so with Asian culture. In Asian culture, the burden of mending the relationship rests upon the children because Asian culture emphasizes "honor" and "respect" of parents no matter what kind of parents you have, or what they have done.
It is extremely important to mend the fractured relationship as much as possible. It will bring closure to a chapter of your life. Without closure to this chapter of your life, you will carry the burden for the rest of your life. It will affect not only your relationship with your parents, but also your children's relationship. What are you going to tell your children about your own parents? You must not deprive your children the relationship they can have with the grandparents. To do so will affect all future generations. Think seriously about the impact of your actions on future generations.
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